In a stunning and impressive series of events, the 40 Olympics shot flying colors like a rainbow emerging from a leprechaun dick. Here are some of the highlights from last night's event as well as the list of winners:
- 40 chug was highlighted with the aches and pains of many esophageal muscles and an odd, cold clenching feeling of the sad throats of these fearless Clones. Our only female competitor, your very own Liz Dyer, ripped the gonads off her competitors, taking first place.
Gold: Liz
Silver: Steve B.
Bronze: Woodrow
Following this was a brief game of Botchi Ball. Steve managed to break his bottle on Woodrow's, resulting in a disqualification and public scolding. Please watch out for glimmering flecks of green glass on the grass.
Gold: Pablo
Silver: Woodrow
Bronze: Dan M.
After a brief intermission, two teams were rounded up for the relay. Sweet joy was clearly present in the hearts of our onlookers as our competitors' faces reflected more sadness and grief--- yet the heat of competition was still ever-present in their eyes.
Gold: Zack, Woodrow, Brenna
Silver (1st Place Losers): Scott, Steve, Zoe (doesn't live here but has more spirit than most little terd Clones did last night. BOOSH)
We then went on to the Beer Mile, which had an initial backlash by lazy sober people but was spearheaded by local hero Pablo and a bunch of buffoons. Some highlights from the run include: Brenna holding her puke until she got to Goldman, puking all over the front of the school in an effort to spite Pablo; Woodrow finishing without puking; Steve almost winning but instead of running through the doors with the might of victory in his belly, he decided to discharge the contents of his belly all over the front of Cloyne; Pablo only doing two laps, as well as Carolyn (but good hustle anyways)
Gold: Woodrow (no pukeage!)
Silver: Brenna (honorary Gold)
Bronze: Steve (good job but ya puked so much we just had to demote ya)
The next event was a bit of a doozy, it took a lot of convincing and begging, but we finally got together two teams to participate in the slip-n-slide flip cup race. This was super fun to watch, apparently kind of so terrible to actually perform that it was fun, and will go down in history as the rankest of all the 40 Olympics games. With a slip-n-slide made of taped together garbage bags, a Dan Mulvey manning the cold hose of hellish terror, and a table of tiny cups, the games quickly got ugly as the bags were quickly destroyed, rules unenforced, beer consumed, and Zack taking a quick turn to attack the hose master. The game ended in a plea to call a draw and some shivering cold American Heroes.
Gold: Zoe, Scott, Steve, Brenna, Woodrow, Zack
To end it all, we had a nice Keg toss on the basketball court. All were encouraged to participate and many did. It was fun to watch, and enjoy seeing how far and not far people can throw kegs. Reports from local friends claim that the clanking of our magical Miller High Life Keg could be heard from the top of campus, echoing for all to hear and fear the great Cloyne beasts.
Gold: Aaron
Silver: Chris
Bronze: Jack
Thanks to all of our participants, your points will be added to your overall week's score and fuck yeah to all those spirited bastards who did what no one thought was possible.
Tonight is Thumper and Power Hour in the dining room. Come one, come all. It isn't physical, but it is fun. Be there at around 9:15pm.
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